Emotional Flood Insurance

When I was a child, I had to shut down my emotions almost completely just to survive. I always hoped that I could someday turn them back on. But, back then, I thought I could be selective in that process or that, magically, when I allowed myself to feel again, the emotions would surface gently like children’s bubbles floating through a sunny day at the park. I expected them to arrive calmly, one at a time, for inspection and handling. I was naive.

I had no idea that emotions come in jumbles and crowds – sometimes even angry mobs. I had no idea that I would feel like Lucy in the candy factory. I was never prepared for that.

I have recovered my ability to feel my emotions. Sadly, though, that process turned out to be less than gentle and more like a dam breaking. And, the resulting flood swept me away, leaving devastation in its path. There is no flood insurance for this situation.

I am so grateful for the dam finally breaking, but so sorry that I was unprepared for the flood.

My emotions are still a jumble, but I have learned to understand and cope with that. I have even learned to appreciate the complex tapestry they weave, their subtle nuances and the richness their variety provides in my life.

I have been helped in the process of reconnecting with my emotions by some otherwise unfortunate relationships. I feel gratitude to those teachers and guides and wish that they, too, had flood insurance that might have protected what was precious in those relationships.

Emotional Flood Insurance should, perhaps, be required in all relationships.